Zetus Lapodcast: The Complete Oral History Of Disney Channel Original Movies

Hello supernova girls! Zach had a full mental breakdown from watching too many Disney Channel movies - they have broken him. So while he builds his strength back up to finish covering the entire DCOM canon, head on over to his new podcast with cohost Grant Pardee named NORMAL COUNTRY. It is a 30,000 foot view of what's happening in a nation that definitely isn't going through something weird right now. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen!

Join Zach and his new friend Kate, host of the podcast Defrauded, as they go deep down the interdimensional wormhole in the ocean that seems to exist to connect the real world to a cosmic prison trapping a bunch of hunky teens in a 1960s beach movie. You can find DEFRAUDED here: https://player.fm/series/defrauded

Horror writer and filmmaker Adrian Martel joins us to talk DESCENDANTS 2, letting Beto O'Rourke bust our windpipes, and the blanket I got from my current / his old employer.

We are joined by a pair of DCOM superfans this week who found my personal email address and used it to guilt trip me into bringing the podcast back. At two points, my phone goes off and you can faintly hear Carly Rae Jepsen scream "Oh yeah! A sword!"

After a nine-month hiatus so Zach could pursue his dream of s-ing his own D and dying, Zetus Lapodcast is back with a brand new episode! We are joined this week by Sam Herbst, host of THE KIDMANIFESTO, to talk about "Freaky Friday," the musical re-remake of the Jodie Foster/Gaby Hoffmann/Lindsay Lohan movies of the same name. This movie has everything! In true DCOM fashion, this movie doesn't shy away from musical numbers about uptight housewives wanting to have intercourse with teenage boys. The plot is essentially The Purge meets The Babadook. There is a direct reference to Brokeback Mountain.

We were almost joined by #nofilter host Zack Peter this week. In fact, we spent over an hour talking with him about The Grove, Ren Stevens's life as a wife and mother, the geographic eccentricities of Los Angeles, and a whole lot more! However, the recording software went haywire and almost the entire episode was lost, so instead of delaying a week and re-recording, I decided to improvise because I'm too emotionally fraught right now to even spend another moment thinking about this lousy "Stuck in the Suburbs" knockoff.

New York Observer writer and condo owner Nick Ross (@NickBossRoss) joins us to talk Avalon High, a movie where the #Girlboss is also King Arthur which, like, gives her tangible political power like being the President of the United States despite being a teenager in, like, I guess, San Diego?

What's Up Movie Surfers? cohost Mallory Mann returns to talk about THE SUITE LIFE MOVIE, cruising into Target and then cruising in Target, as it is the best place to find a hot date. We also definitely don't talk about what happens when a pack of dolphins kidnap people and take them into a cave. We've talked about it on the podcast before and there is no reason to talk about it again!

Two and a half years after we sat down with him to talk about Under Wraps in Arizona, Ethan Mitchell joins us again in California to talk about MINUTEMEN, a fun but intensely problematic journey through time and space.

2-time Emmy award winner (okay, they're Daytime Emmys) Jamie McCarty invited me over to watch Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure, identify Canadian landmarks and discuss the concept of a "murder twink."

Comedian Kelly Ryan (@KayArePea) joins us to talk Dadnapped, Mike Pence's 1999 review of Mulan, whether or not Elijah Daniel takes our calls anymore, and more! This episode is brought to you by Sudio! Sudio wants to revolutionize the way you think about headphones. Use the promo code ZETUS at checkout for 15% off! Our podcast sounds better coming through these headphones than the ones you're currently wearing. Trust us. sudiosweden.com.

We're joined this week by Ashlee, a DCOM superfan who cares about these movies even more than I do! She joins me to talk about FRENEMIES, a strange anthology movie that asks and answers the question: are dogs smarter than people? Yes. Obviously. Follow her on Twitter @nogitsexi or find her on Tumblr, if you're into that!

Unverified Twitter user / "Gilmore Girls" actor Jason Pickar comes back to the show to talk about Phineas and Ferb! He knows all about this show, I know very little, and together we meld minds to get to the bottom of this wacky interdimensional action comedy about growing up and having a fun summer! Follow me @zachheltzel and the show at @zetuslapodcast. Jason Pickar can be found at @jasonpickar on everything and he will be performing at Oh My Ribs in Los Angeles on October 12th! Go to ohmyribs.com for more details. We'll be there! This episode is brought to you by Sudio! Sudio wants to revolutionize the way you think about headphones. Use the promo code ZETUS at checkout for 15% off! Our podcast sounds better coming through these headphones than the ones you're currently wearing. Trust us. sudiosweden.com.

We're joined this week by multi-hyphen extraordinaire Brock Wilbur, the only person on the planet to understand every single crazy deep cut reference Zach makes in what can only be described as an endurance test for only the most dedicated listener of this podcast. At some points, we vaguely discuss Wizards of Waverly Place. Vaguely. Pre-order Brock's book here: https://bossfightbooks.com/collections/books/products/postal-by-brock-wilbur-nathan-rabin. It's very good.

Sara DeNatalie joins us the fourth time (!!!) to talk about Princess Protection Program, one of the wackiest and most fun DCOMs to date. No, seriously! It's really fun! Zach also has opinions about mother!. Oh boy does he have opinions about mother!.

Comedian Dani Fernandez (@msdaniferndandez) joins us to talk about CAMP ROCK 2: THE FINAL JAM, The Jepsen Pattern, the differences between A Goofy Movie and An Extremely Goofy Movie, what the teens are up to these days, and more!

Raven Symone decided she didn't want to be in the third and final Cheetah Girls movie, but our guest this week, Mel Layesen, is more than able to fill the void. We talk about Bollywood, Goop, and all the things this India-set-but-clearly-shot-in-Burbank whimper reminded us about. We also bid "Daddy" goodbye, until I forget and bring it back again next week.

IMDWeed host Kelly McInerney is on the pod to discuss HARRIET THE SPY: BLOG WARS. As a Harriet the Spy expert, she breaks down the similarities and differences between the legendary 1990s depiction and this one. Spoiler: Nickelodeon did it better.

Comedian Kristin Clifford stops by to talk about "16 Wishes," a baffling labyrinth of weird plotting and time travel mechanics that would make Shane Carruth go *extremely Home Improvement voice* huhwhaaaaaaaaa

Matt D'Ambrosio stops by this week to talk about DEN BROTHER, a movie that is a direct mashup of TROOP BEVERLY HILLS and MRS. DOUBTFIRE if both of those movies were 100x less good.