Building A Better Dave

So on Tuesday, I had to crawl through the back window of my house after locking myself out of my house - wait for it - twice.  On Friday I had one of my "Sweating buckets, getting dizzy, can't decide if I'm going to have explosive diarrhea, vomit or passout" sessions. This now has fairly nasty stomach pains. I injured my stomach on Tuesday with a nasty scrape. This is Friday.  I wake up a few times during the night. It hurts to move in bed. Each time I wake up, the pain is moving higher up my body. We've gone from belly button, up higher and higher, and now my chest is tight, and I'm having issues taking a deep breath. The question and conversations that go through your head when you can't decide if you're having a heart attack or not were not what I had expected. One would think if you thought you were having a heart attack you would call 911. Not me. I know how much an ambulance is, and my Dad was thrifty, and apparently so am I.  I am also the son of my Mom who never wanted to be a bother to anyone. She al