Smash Fiction

Merry Cagemas, dear listeners, and welcome to Cage Match 2: The Cagening! Yes, it's another four-way battle of Nicolas Cage characters to celebrate this undeniably remarkable, yet thoroughly insane, holiday season. Four Cages! One cage! At stake: the prestigious, recently-reclaimed-from-the-IRS championship belt proclaiming its wearer the undisputed World Heavyweight Cage! Only this time, the Cage Match will be contested not by mere mortals, but by Cages who are all something more -- or something less -- than human. Johnny Blaze, aka Ghost Rider, leaves tracks of hellfire down the entrance ramp as he rides toward the ring. Balthazar Blake, famed sorcerer and trainer of sorcerer's apprentices, arrives in a flash of magic and intimacy issues. John Milton drives angry into the arena despite his ever-present sunglasses, and fully intends to drive angry out of it again with a victory. And Peter Loew, freshly empowered by the vampire's kiss -- at least in his own mind, which he's actually just out of -- dons his pl