Thanks, Academy!

I'm joined by 2019's Funniest Person in Austin Andrew Murphy and his brother Alex for a family tag team fresh look at this notoriously sappy gloss through the Baby Boom generation's childhood. The movie surprises us with how dark it is when you peer just beneath Robert Zemeckis's thick layer of Vaseline. But our darkest revelation is that Forrest Gump himself is The Problem with modern America -- his obliviousness standing in for white America's fantasy of a Great Again America that clearly didn't exist and Forrest is singularly unprepared to cope with. Of course, in the movie, Forrest has some sort of unspecified mental deficiency. America should have no such excuse for its own Vaseline gloss of what happened. There are two types of Americans -- those who remember this as a problematic movie portraying a series of atrocities, and those who remember it as a feel-good family heart-warmer. The latter are in charge. Enjoy your shrimp joke.