Jumping Nothing

If Vince McMahon's deepest, most personal dreams had somehow come true, the Million Dollar Man would have been a good guy. He would have come out, waved money, ordered people around, made off-colour remarks and, ultimately, he would have been lauded as a hero. It didn't happen that way for Ted DiBiase, but it's working for Donald Trump. "Lemme tell you something, I'm very rich," he says. The crowd cheers. "Women are pigs," he says. The crowd cheers. "I own a lot of golf courses, lemme tell you, my golf courses, they're the best in the world, everybody loves them," he says. The crowd cheers. And now he's going to run America. There's one way to understand the Republican frontrunner, and as vaguely news-savvy young men with a cynicism-hardened interest in pro wrestling, we're uniquely qualified to look into it. Donald Trump is a wrestling character. Here's why.