Empire Of The Senseless

I dreamt about you again. You were upstairs as always. I was on a balcony outside your front door. You were sitting inside waiting on me to come in and kiss you. You were so shy. You laughed too hard at my boyish charm. You secretly despised me. My ability to camouflage turned to dishonesty quickly. If I was honest with myself, I wouldn’t have made nice with any one of them. I would’ve spoken of their violent tendencies aloud from the beginning. I would’ve walked to you door without hesitation. Shaking furiously, I would’ve knocked anyway. I would’ve told you that you were the only reason that I was sent back; that I was sitting on an empty floor full of butterflies waiting on you to be ready to run away. Dear Capi, it was all intended to be exactly this way. So that I could build the courage to stare into empty space and whisper into this mic from 2500 miles away, “I love you. I have been waiting a long time to find you. Then I did, but time wasn’t on my side. Then I did again, this time she wasn’t on yours.