Curious Fox Podcast

This week Effy Blue and Jacqueline Misla are curious about couple privilege and hierarchical relationships: What is couple privilege?How does it differ from hierarchy in relationships? How does it affect relationships?How can we design our relationships with privilege and hierarchy in mind? Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

This week Effy and Jacqueline are curious about the purpose of jealousy: What is jealousy? How do you characterize it?What are the evolutionary roots of jealousy? And what purpose does it serve in the emotional portfolio of the human species? What are the distinctions between the biological sexes and jealousy, based on existing research?We are challenging the status quo that jealousy is bad and something that non-monogamous people should not feel. To guide us in our exploration, our guest this week is Prof David Buss:David Buss is a Professor of Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. Buss previously taught at Harvard University and the University of Michigan. He is considered the world’s leading scientific expert on strategies of human mating and one of the founders of the field of evolutionary psychology. His books include The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating; Evolutionary Psychology:  The New Science of the Mind; The Dangerous Passion:  Why Jealousy is as Necessary as Love and Sex;

This week Effy and Jacqueline are curious about friendships and jealousy: What defines a friendship? What distinguishes a friendship over other relationships? Are female friendships different from male friendships? Is friendship jealousy different from romantic jealousy? We want to challenge the status quo that romantic relationships are more important than friendships and female friendships are ultimately about rivalry and threat. To guide us in our exploration, our guest this week is Dr. Jaimie Arona Krems: Dr. Jaimie Arona Krems is a social psychologist who uses interdisciplinary theories--from evolutionary biology, animal behavior, behavioral ecology--to explore friendship, those often-understudied friendly and competitive interactions among women, and the stereotypes and prejudices that shape people's social landscapes. She received her Ph.D. from Arizona State University, M.Sc. from the University of Oxford, M.L.A. from the University of Pennsylvania, and her A.B. in Classical and Near Eastern Arch

What happens when a traditional ceremony like a wedding honors the queerest of relationships? What are some other ways to celebrate a relationship(s)? What is it like to celebrate a break-up?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline hang out with queer wedding planner Ambyr D'Amato to challenge the status quo that Weddings are the only types of relationship ceremonies Only traditional relationships have and deserve to celebrate with a ceremony We should only celebrate when we merge into a relationship This week's guest Ambyr D'Amato: Hi, I’m Ambyr. I’m a wedding planner. My mission is to help create a meaningful time for you on your special day and throughout your wedding planning process. What would it feel like to breathe or meditate a little before working on your wedding budget? How can we create a positive experience for you, your family, and all of your guests? What would it feel like to be taken care of, listened to, and coached every step of the way? I want the weddings I do to be inclusive

Is magic and witchcraft for fairy tales? Can magic, witchcraft, and rituals be a way to connect with our bodies and tap into our intuition? Can tarot be used to help us get clarity on the choices we have and the decision we have to make? Effy and Jacqueline hang out with Pleasure Witch Haylin Belay to talk about how magic and tarot can provide a framework for us to get in touch with what we know intuitively. To find more about Haylin Belay, go to his website www.haylin.co or follow her on Instagram @haylin.co. Curious Fox listeners can enter code CURIOUS at checkout for 15% off a 30-minute Tarot reading.Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

How can a couple in an open relationship deal with a new crush or new relationship energy? How can someone deal with the shame/guilt of exploring a non-traditional relationship or sexual path?How can you figure out if someone is a good match for a kink experience?How to make addressing fears fun?How can I tell my child that I/ we are opening up our relationship? Effy and Jacqueline kick off the year by answering questions from our foxy listeners. Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

Effy, Jacqueline, and the Foxy team are taking a break for the holidays. Listen for their holiday wishes and some recommendations on what to listen to while they are away. HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL.Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

How much does evolutionary wiring impact the types of relationships we seek? Does it really come down to nature vs nurture? How much of whom we are attracted to impacted by our ancestors? Is there such a thing as free will? Effy and Jacqueline get nerdy with evolutionary psychologist Dr. Adar Eisenbruch - whose research centers around cooperation, friendship, and behavioral endocrinology - to talk about how much of our relational choices are contemporary and how much is written deep into our source code over millions of years ago. To find more about Dr. Adar Eisenbruch, go to his website adareisenbruch.com. Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

What does it mean to put effort into relationships? Does one person always show up more than the other? Is relationship maths is as simple as 50+50 makes 100%? Effy and Jacqueline sit down to work out what is the right maths when it comes to the division of effort that goes into a relationship while comparing parental relationship dynamics to adult romantic relationship dynamics.  Not all relationships are created equal. Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

No matter your gender, orientation, or relationship construct, everyone has a butt. Booty play can be a subversive and fun addition to your sexfolio. Effy and Jacqueline chat with sex educator and pro-domme Lola Jean to get into the whats, hows, and whys of pegging. From tops and bottoms, to toys and hygiene, they go through the ins and outs (pun intended) of backdoor play. Here are the links promised: Effy’s fave harness: Spareparts Joque HarnessLola’s toy suggestion: Perfect Fit The Bumper Thrust Buffer, BlackPerfect Fit The Bumper Thrust Buffer, ClearPerfectFit Brand The Bumper Add-On Donut Buffer Cushion, BlackPerfectFit Brand The Bumper Add-On Donut Buffer Cushion, ClearLola’s classes: PeggingJackie’s fave bedside table toy that glows: Dame Eva (Go to dameproducts.com/curiousfox for a discount.)To learn more about Lola Jean, follow her on Instagram @lolajeandotcom, or via her website: lolajean.com.Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacquel

When society and cultures pack so much meaning to certain times of the year, what does it look like for those who have multiple relationships? When a simple premise of "spending the holidays with loved ones" seems not so simple, how do avoid putting your relationship(s) on trial?In this throwback episode, Effy and Jackie talk about ways to navigate holidays when you are managing multiple relationships in your life. They share tips on how to schedule, have conversations, and make sure everyone feels loved and cared for. And how to make amends if it all ends up in a cluster f**k.Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

How does our sense of safety affect the way we show up in relationships? What happens in our nervous system when we feel safe vs unsafe? What can we do to promote a sense of safety?Effy and Jackie hang with sound healing therapist, meditation facilitator, and Somatic Experiencing practitioner Rida Kıraşı to talk about how we can heal trauma, cultivate a sense of safety, and learn to regulate our emotions through the soma with the use of sound, breath, meditation and embodiment practices. To learn more about Rida Kıraşı, follow her on Instagram @soundalatherapy, or via her website: soundalatherapy.com.Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

Is it ok to be in a relationship when you are chronically dissatisfied if there are no arguments? Why do people end up staying in relationships that are not making them happy? What do we need to make us pull the plug on lifeless relationships? Effy and Jacqueline jump on the airwaves to challenge the idea that passivity is the same as peace. They discuss what Esther Perel calls stable ambiguity or what Effy calls relationship purgatory where people remain in a holding pattern in relationships where things are undefined, lines are blurred, and desires go unsaid even though they are soaking in dissatisfaction, disharmony, and disconnection. They explore what stable ambiguity looks like, why people choose to remain in purgatory, and what are some of the strategies to break the holding pattern. If you are feeling unsafe in your relationship and need support, these resources can help:National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (1-800-799-SAFE)You can text LOVEIS to 22522 or call 1-800-799-7233 (1-800-799-SA

Can psychedelics be more than a party drug? How are they used in therapy and why are they so effective? What does it take to get into a psychedelic treatment program? Effy and Jackie are joined by the Community Support and Integration Director of the Hudson Valley Psychedelic Society,  psychotherapist, and clinical supervisor Dee Dee Goldpaugh to discuss their work with psychedelics and their effective use in treating and healing trauma psycho-chemically as well as spiritually. To learn more about Dee Dee Goldpaugh, follow them on Instagram @deedeevega, or via their website: deedeegoldpaugh.com. You can find Dee Dee's article on tandfonline.com.Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

In this Halloween Special episode, Effy and Jacqueline create a house of horrors made up of their relationship fears. From negative body image to feeling stuck on a relationship escalator, they imagine a terrifying room after a terrifying room of the gruesomest, the creepiest, and the most disturbing contraptions that represent their deepest dreads. Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

Why is talking about sex so hard? How can we use creativity to approach these conversations so we don’t have to navigate through shame, defensiveness, insecurity, and general awkwardness? Can talking about sex creatively result in more interesting sex life?Effy and Jackie sit down with Jennifer Beman to discuss her work, the Graphic Sex Project where Jennifer offers a simple and creative methodology that helps people tell the story of their sexuality. They discuss how this approach cuts through the barriers and encourage a more open dialogue about sex and sexuality as well as personal desires, fantasies, wishes, and interests.  You can learn more about Jennifer Beman and the Graphic Sex Project at graphicsexproject.com to make your own graph and on Instagram @graphicsexproject Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuri

Let’s talk about “Daddy.” Why is it a hot turn-on for some and abhorrent for others? What does the “Daddy role” embody within a power exchange? Effy and Jacqueline are joined by professional and lifestyle dominatrix, BDSM educator, kinky life coach, Mistress Lucy Sweetkill, as they challenge the notion that “Daddy” is only for those with daddy issues. To learn more about Lucy Sweetkill, follow her on Instagram @lucy.sweetkill, or via her website: lucysweetkill.comSupport the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

Can sex work be a viable alternative for those who want to open up an existing relationship because they are looking for a specific sexual experience? How do you safely and ethically connect with a sex worker who’s not trafficked or coerced?  What is the best way to determine if someone is the right person to work with? Effy and Jacqueline are joined by pro-domme, kink educator and owner of Chez-La, Miss Shayla to discuss what sex work is and what it is like to work with a sex worker, the impact of SESTA/FOSTA on the industry and the individuals, and bust some common myths about sex work.  To learn more about Shayla, follow her on Instagram @yesmissshayla, or via her website: yesmissshayla.wordpress.comSupport the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

What is intersectional polyamory and how to find meaningful representation in the community? What is the impact of prescribed cultural identity on our relationships? How can we find and connect with online communities for support? Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Michelle Hy of Polyamorous While Asian to discuss how different parts of our identity impact the way we practice non-monogamy, how representation matters within polyamory, and the importance and the risks of online communities.  To learn more about Michelle, follow her on Instagram @polyamorouswhileasian, or via her website: polyamorouswhileasian.comSupport the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

What are the differences between rules and agreements and why does it matter? How do you go about figuring out what agreements will support us to thrive in relationships? Can there be room for delight and playfulness as you co-create agreements for your relationship(s)?On this week’s show Effy and Jackie were joined by Eri Kardos, the author of Relationship Agreements: A Simple and Effective Guide for Strengthening Communication, Reducing Conflict, and Increasing Intimacy to Design Your Ideal Relationship to talk about:- A practical approach to intentionally making relationship agreements- How to incorporate curiosity and lightness to the process and create a living document  - Main pitfalls as people have their first go at making agreements To learn more about Eri Kardos, follow her on  Twitter @Eri_Kardos, on Instagram @coacherikardos, or via her website: erikardos.comYou can find her book along with other recommended reads at wearecuriousfoxes.com/readinglistSupport the showConnect with us on IG and more:C