So Very Wrong About Games

All right, sweethearts, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? Another glorious episode of SVWAG! A day with So Very Wrong About Games is like a day on the farm. Every word's a banquet! Every sentence a fortune! Every review a soliloquy! I love SVWAG!Games Played Last Week:01:40 -Aristeia!: Prime Time (Alberto Abal, Jesús Fuster, & David Rosillo, Corvus Belli, 2020)05:05 -Vengeance: Director’s Cut Expansion (Gordon Calleja, Mighty Boards, 2020) 11:03 -For What Remains: Out of the Basement (Paul Low, David Thompson, & Ricardo Manuel Luis Tomas, DVG, 2020)14:42 -Undaunted: North Africa (Trevor Benjamin & David Thompson, Osprey Games, 2020) 18:13 -It's a Wonderful World (Frédéric Guérard, La Boîte de Jeu, 2019)21:20 -Caravan (Joe Huber, Rio Grande Games, 2019)22:41 -Fast Sloths (Friedemann Friese, 2F-SPiele, 2019)27:19 -Cacao (Phil Walker-Harding, ABACUSSPIELE, 2015)28:11 -Aliens: Another Glorious Day in the Corps (Andrew Haught, Gale Force Nine, 2020)32:45 -Aliens (David McKenzie &

"I hit you!" "Nuh-uh, you missed!" "I totally hit you!" "I dodged it!" "I have special homing missiles you can't dodge!" "I have a shield that redirects all your shots back to you!" "I have an invincibility field!" "I can shoot through invincibility!" At this point, Games Workshop would have us roll off, with the person rolling higher getting the title of Most Obnoxious Person.01:49 AYURIS: Cthulhu Wars (Sandy Peterson & Lincoln Petersen, Petersen Games, 2015)Games Played Last Week:05:02 -AuZtralia (Martin Wallace, Stronghold Games, 2018)11:16 -Under Falling Skies (Tomáš Uhlíř, Czech Games Edition, 2020)12:49 -The King Is Dead: Second Edition (Peer Sylvester, Osprey Games, 2020)19:48 -Jetpack Joyride: Deluxe Edition (Michał Gołębiowski, Lucky Duck Games, 2019)22:43 -Apocalypse Road (Jeff Horger & Carla Horger, GMT Games, 2020)29:53 -Marvel United (Andrea Chiarvesio & Eric M. Lang, CMON, 2020)33:06 -Gaia Project (Jens Drögemüller &

Mark has occasion to quote three different movies in this episode, and miraculously none of them are Pulp Fiction, The Lion in Winter, or even Aliens--despite the latter being related to a game discussed! Perhaps his echolalia is abating, or perhaps merely evolving. One should, after all, take every advantage to quote the well-spoken Ayatollah of Rock-and-Rolla.Games Played Last Week:01:19 -Pax Renaissance (Phil Eklund & Matt Eklund, Sierra Madre Games, 2016)04:14 -Praga Caput Regni (Vladimír Suchý, Delicious Games, 2020)13:20 -Agricola (Revised Edition) (Uwe Rosenberg, Lookout Games, 2016)17:56 -Marvel United (Andrea Chiarvesio & Eric M. Lang, CMON, 2020)21:30 -Under Falling Skies (Tomáš Uhlíř, Czech Games Edition, 2020)24:59 -The Court of Miracles (Vincent Brugeas & Guilhem Gautrand, Lumberjacks Studio, 2019)29:05 -Nidavellir (Serge Laget, GRRRE Games, 2020)32:00 -Last Aurora (Mauro Chiabotto, Pendragon Game Studio, 2020)37:40 -Evolution: Climate (Dominic Crapuchettes, Dmitry Knorre, & Serge

One is reminded of those memes that plot definitions on two axes, asking to what degree the reader is a purist or a rebel--the setting purist and the mechanical purist would say "Descent is a dungeon crawler." Perhaps the setting purist and mechanical rebel would say "Dungeon Lords is a dungeon crawler." Invariably these memes revel in the reductio ad absurdum, so I have to imagine the setting rebel and the mechanical rebel would say "Hopscotch is a dungeon crawler."01:43 AYURIS: Batman: Gotham City Chronicles (Frédéric Henry, Monolith, 2019)Games Played Last Week: 03:39 -By Stealth and Sea (Nicola Saggini & David Thompson, DVG Games, 2020)08:26 -Altar Quest (Adam Sadler & Brady Sadler, Blacklist Games, 2020)18:17 -Gods Love Dinosaurs (Kasper Lapp, Pandasaurus Games, 2020)19:34 -Yedo: Deluxe Master Set (Thomas Vande Ginste & Wolf Plancke, Board&Dice, 2020)24:50 -The Court of Miracles (Vincent Brugeas & Guilhem Gautrand, Lumberjacks Studio, 2019)27:15 -Nidavellir (S

It is the nature of the Walker who cries wolf that if he repeats the claim often and consistently enough, it might come true eventually. Despite the unrelenting constancy of Chinese New Year, some games do actually get produced--just only after they have emerged from their purgatorial delay in the never-ending holiday. So it is with Tidal Blades; after claims of "any day now" for years, it finally arrived, like some unwieldy piece of oversized deluxe... well... is it flotsam or jetsam? We must review it to find out. Games Played Last Week: 01:16 -Magic Realm (Richard Hamblen, Avalon Hill, 1979)07:30 -Funkoverse Strategy Game: Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas (Prospero Hall, Funko Games, 2020)11:53 -Hansa Teutonica (Andreas Steding, Argentum Verlag, 2010)13:28 -Beyond the Sun (Dennis K. Chan, Rio Grande Games, 2020)20:00 -Terra Mystica (Jens Drögemüller & Helge Ostertag, Feuerland Spiele, 2012)21:50 -Project: ELITE (Konstantinos Kokkinis, Marco Portugal, & Sotirios Tsantilas, CMON,

Clearly the hosts secretly wanted to have a movie podcast, or perhaps just a podcast devoted to the movie Aliens. To their credit, they at least did not devolve into merely parroting quotes from the film, which is a behaviour as obnoxious and it is difficult to avoid. Rest assured they offered their poor paraphrases and hackneyed delivery while actually playing the Aliens game. It was a bad call, listener, it was...Crap. 02:37 AYURIS: Catacombs 3rd ed. (Ryan Amos, Marc Kelsey, & Aron West, Elzra Corp., 2015)Games Played Last Week: 04:34 -Rome & Roll (Nick Shaw & Dávid Turczi, PSC Games, 2020)07:48 -Dice Forge (Régis Bonnessée, Libellud, 2017)09:48 -Martian Dice (Scott Almes, Tasty Minstrel Games, 2011)11:28 -Asgard’s Chosen (Morgan Dontanville, Mayfair Games, 2013)13:57 -Aliens: Bug Hunt (Ryan Miller, Upper Deck Entertainment, 2020)21:12 -Spirit Island: Jagged Earth (R. Eric Reuss, Greater Than Games, 2020)23:38 -FlickFleet (Jackson Pope & Paul Willcox, Eurydice Games, 2018)27:01 -Civilizatio

We have an unwritten constitution here at SVWAG, which we know causes some people from jurisdictions with written constitutions to get a little mystified and/or twitchy. Trust us, it works! We get to claim a rich constitutional history all the way back to 1215 and the Magna Carta, or at least we will, once we figure out what King John had to do with podcasting. It's the kind of arrangement that works until you have a constitutional crisis, which we have about as often as those places with written constitutions; except we tend to settle ours with sidelong glances and lots of utterances along the lines of, "So... how do you, uh... think this works?" Games Played Last Week: 01:51 -Welcome To New Las Vegas (Alexis Allard & Benoit Turpin, Blue Cocker Games, 2020)03:50 -Escape the Dark Sector (Alex Crispin, Thomas Pike, & James Shelton, Themeborne Ltd., 2020)07:06 -Via Magica (Paolo Mori, Hurrican, 2020)08:59 -Cthulhu: Death May Die (Rob Daviau & Eric Lang, CMON, 2019)12:16 -Gods Love Dinos

It's the daylight savings, it's got to be. You give us an extra hour in the week--through the magic of time travel--and we'll take it to play eleventy new games. The geniuses (Canadians, for what it's worth) who invented standard time probably didn't take into account the havoc it might wreak on our podcasting. So many new games! Not enough time for the topic! We will endure.01:08 AYURIS: Calimala (Fabio Lopiano, ADC Blackfire Entertainment GmbH, 2017)Games Played Last Week: 02:29 -High Rise (Gil Hova, Formal Ferret Games, 2020)07:02 -Cthulhu: Death May Die (Rob Daviau & Eric Lang, CMON, 2019)08:00 -Keyflower (Sebastien Bleasdale & Richard Breese, R&D Games, 2012)10:23 -Civilization: A New Dawn—Terra Incognita (Tony Fanchi, Fantasy Flight Games, 2020)16:50 -Feierabend aka Finishing Time (Friedemann Friese, 2F-Spiele, 2020)22:37 -Gatefall (Jack Dire, Jack Dire Studios, 2020)28:07 -The Castles of Tuscany (Stefan Feld, alea, 2020)32:09 -Cosmic Colonies (Scott Almes, Floodgate Gam

The unofficial motto of SVWAG has always been, "stop trying to make fetch happen." Similarly, you can't just make up words out of thin air--it's not like they're holidays or anything that can be conjured ex nihilo (Happy Arkhipov Day!). What's an Arnak, anyway? Can you lose ruins of something that never existed? I suppose a fantasy is a good pretext to give us an arm's length distance from generations of pith-decked looters and graverobbers. Relatedly, Walker desperately wants to coin the term "Azteckian," but Mark's not having it.Games Played Last Week: 01:32 -Quantum (Eric Zimmerman, Funforge, 2013)04:15 -Infinity Gauntlet: A Love Letter Game (Seiji Kanai & Alexander Ortloff, Zman Games, 2020)07:34 -BattleCON: Unleashed (D. Brad Talton, Level 99 Games, 2020)12:52 -Sakura Arms (BakaFire, AEG, 2017)15:05 -Race for the Galaxy: The Brink of War (Thomas Lehmann, Rio Grande Games, 2010)16:52 -Carcassonne: Hunters and Gatherers (Klaus-Jürgen Wrede & Bernd Brunnhofer

In honour of Arkhipov Day (October 27th--he saved your life or that of your forebears, he deserves a day), we turn to reflections of how games model war. Even themeless euros often include war as a convenient backdrop for the processing of cubes, so it is hardly restricted to one genre of gaming or another. That said, gaming is not unique--pretty much any medium can boast of a plethora of war narratives. 01:17 AYURIS: HATE (Raphaël Guiton, Jean-Baptiste Lullien, Alexandru Olteanu, & Nicolas Raoult, CMON, 2019) Games Played Last Week: 04:41 -Darkest Night (Second Edition) (Jeremy Lennert, Victory Point Games, 2018)10:40 -Quantum (Eric Zimmerman, Funforge, 2013)14:58 -7 Wonders Duel (Antoine Bauza & Bruno Cathala, Repos Production, 2015)15:58 -Lucky Numbers (Michael Schacht, Ravensburger, 2012)16:47 -Keyflower (Sebastian Bleasdale & Richard Breese, R&D Games, 2012)17:03 -The Crew: The Quest for Planet Nine (Thomas Sing, KOSMOS, 2019)17:58 -For What Remains (Paul Low, David Thompson, & Ricar

I never knew a kid who had any kind of fort. In grade school I heard of a kid who could form Voltron, but that may have been an extravagant lie. My mom's friend's kids had a Sega Genesis, and that was pretty rad. I keep acquiring more games in the vain hope that it will make me popular, but it hasn't worked yet. Maybe one or two more Street Masters expansions will do the trick. I am told to be popular you have to wash your hair at least once every two weeks.Games Played Last Week:02:21 -Black Rose Wars (Marco Montanaro, Ludus Magnus Studio, 2019) 14:07 -ELO Darkness (Tommaso Mondadori & Alberto Parisi, Reggie Games, 2018)17:33 -Sakura Arms (Baka Fire, AEG, 2017)20:23 -Wits & Wagers (Dominic Crapuchettes, North Star Games, 2005)22:06 -Too Many Bones (Adam & Josh Carlson, Chip Theory Games, 2017)27:43 -Nanga Parbat (Steve Finn, Dr. Finn's Games, 2021)30:17 -Scythe (Jamey Stegmaier, Stonemaier Games, 2016)32:19 -Through the Ages: A New Story of Civilization (Vlaada Chvátil, CGE, 201

The mere framing of a question can subtly or overtly determine the answer. There's an old joke about a monk who asks his superior, "Can I smoke while I meditate?" He is told no, as that would be sullying an act that is meant to be free from worldly concerns. The clever monk decides instead to ask another superior, "While I smoke, can I meditate?" So it is with boardgames! Framing can have tremendous consequences.01:55 AYURIS: XenoShyft: Onslaught (Keren Philosophales & Michael Shinall, CMON, 2015) and Dreadmire (Michael Shinall, CMON, 2017) Games Played Last Week:04:35 -Assault on Doomrock: Doompocalypse (Christopher Niewiadomski & Tom Stasiak, Beautiful Disaster Games, 2017)06:47 -Alma Mater (Acchittocca, Flaminia Brasini, Virginio Gigli, Stefano Luperto, & Antonio Tinto, eggertspiele, 2020)11:50 -Spirit Island: Jagged Earth (R. Eric Reuss, Greater Than Games, 2020)15:13 -Marco Polo II: In the Service of the Khan (Simone Luciani & Daniele Tascini, Hans im Gluck, 2019)17:36

Social standards of behaviour are often subtle and variable, but we can all agree that children are often blind to their subtle nuances. Like, don't be a massive jerk--that's one of those tricky nuances that often escape the notice of your average child, what with many of them being borderline sociopaths kept in check only by their relative powerlessness and incompetence. Then again, perhaps Mark is the sociopath for not being able to tolerate the annoyances of child behaviour. Then again, perhaps both are true, and Mark is merely a giant, sociopathic man-baby. All that said, no human deserves to be subjected to Monopoly.Games Played Last Week:01:20 -Monopoly (Charles Darrow & Elizabeth J. Magie Phillips, Hasbro, 1933)06:55 -Pendulum (Travis P Jones, Stonemaier Games, 2020)16:53 -The Crew: The Quest for Planet 9 (Thomas Sing, KOSMOS, 2019)17:48 -My City (Reiner Knizia, KOSMOS, 2020)19:35 -Flick ‘Em Up: Dead of Winter (Gaëtan Beaujannot, Jonathan Gilmour, Jean Yves Monpertuis, & Isaac Vega, Pre

Hwaet! The second installment of our much-ignored segment, SVWAG Poetry Corner, takes a turn for the epic. First we did haiku, and now we discuss Old English epic poetry. Sure the noble limerick can't be far behind? We also discuss the most excellent lifestyle habits of our new idol, Kane Tanaka, who seems to be living her best life on her own terms. You go, Kane Tanaka! Rip off some monster's arm or something.01:07 AYRUIS: Concordia (Mac Gerdts, PD-Verlag, 2013) and Concordia Venus (2018) Games Played Last Week:02:27 -For What Remains (Paul Low, David Thompson, & Ricardo Manuel Luis Tomas, DVG Games, 2020)03:36 -Bärenpark (Phil Walker-Harding, Lookout, 2017)05:08 -My City (Reiner Knizia, KOSMOS, 2020)06:16 -Forgotten Waters (Mr. Bistro, J. Arthur Ellis, & Isaac Vega, Plaid Hat Games, 2020)12:54 -Sorcerer (Peter Scholtz, White Wizard Games, 2019)15:50 -Cerebria: The Inside World (Richard Amann, & Viktor Peter, Mindclash Games, 2018)18:24 -Alma Mater (Acchittocca, Flaminia Brasini, Virginio

Our cup runneth over, if the cup in question is being filled by tiles laid there by Reiner Knizia. Three Knizia tile-laying games were sampled by SVWAG, which of course made it a good week. One feels that if someone proposed a topic of "Reiner Knizia tile-laying games", the appropriate editorial response would be "narrow the scope, please." Games Played Last Week:01:12 -Spirit Island: Jagged Earth (R. Eric Reuss, Greater Than Games, 2020)02:27 -Mariposas (Elizabeth Hargrave, AEG, 2020)07:07 -Tekhenu: Obelisk of the Sun (Daniele Tascini & Dávid Turczi, Board&Dice, 2020)14:37 -Carolus Magnus (Leo Colovini, Rio Grande, 2000)20:04 -My City (Reiner Knizia, KOSMOS, 2020)21:48 -Indigo (Reiner Knizia, Ravensburger, 2012)25:27 -Starlink (Markus Slawitscheck & Arno Steinwender, Blue Orange Games, 2020)News (and why it doesn't matter):29:36 The possible returns of things called HeroQuest and Avalon Hill31:17 Dungeon Fighter returns32:26 Ludonova: Sumatra by Knizia and Polynesia by Peer Sy

In remembrance of things past, we bite hard into the madeleine that is large player count gaming. The recollection of not being sequestered into small basements, where... actually, scratch that, we were often in basements in the Before Times. At least I think so. Time is now an illusion.01:57 AYURIS: A Feast for Odin: The Norwegians (Gernot Köpke & Uwe Rosenberg, Feuerland Spiele, 2018)Games Played Last Week:03:44 -Time of Legends: Joan of Arc (Pascal Bernard, Mythic Games, 2019)11:32 -Spirit Island: Jagged Earth (R. Eric Reuss, Greater Than Games, 2020)12:32 -My City (Reiner Knizia, KOSMOS, 2020)13:19 -Thor (Reiner Knizia, Heidelberger Spieleverlag, 2002)16:42 -For What Remains (Paul Low, David Thompson, & Ricardo Manuel Luis Tomas, DVG, 2020)19:45 -Small Islands (Alexis Allard, MushrooM Games, 2018)22:04 -Iwari: Deluxe Edition (Michael Schacht, ThunderGryph Games, 2020)News (and why it doesn't matter):28:20 Moar Assault on Doomrock? Maybe!29:49 Satire no more: Dinosaur "Rawr 'n Write"

"Cosmic Frog: World Eaters from Dimension Zero--A Game of Strategic Gluttony." I mean, what could I or anyone else possibly say that could add to that? Games Played Last Week:01:46 -Spirit Island: Jagged Earth (R. Eric Reuss, Greater Than Games, 2020)03:34 -Shards of Infinity: Shadow of Salvation (Justin Gary & Ryan Sutherland, Stone Blade Entertainment, 2019)07:19 -Castle Itter (David Thompson, DVG, 2019)12:44 -Kingdom Builder (Donald X. Vaccarino, Queen Games, 2011)14:24 -Las Vegas Royale (Rudiger Dorn, alea, 2019) 16:40 -Barrage: The Leeghwater Project (Tommaso Battista & Simone Luciani, Cranio Creations, 2019)22:17 -My City (Reiner Knizia, KOSMOS, 2020)25:46 -For What Remains (Paul Low, David Thompson, & Ricardo Manuel Luis Tomas, DVG, 2020)News (and why it doesn't matter):32:17 Riot Games' Tellstones34:48 Meeple Towers (sadly not dexterity)35:59 More Civ-as-card-game: Imperium36:54 BGG covering digital gaming again, and Neuroshima: Convoy37:32 Eric Lang leaving CMON to become

I mean, maybe, possibly, hopefully, with luck, theoretically, given the right group, hypothetically, in time, conceivably, eventually, if I push hard enough, imaginably, as a favour, I could imagine, someday, perchance, play this again. Weather permitting.01:36 AYURIS: Cerebria: The Inside World (Richard Amann, Viktor Peter, István Pócsi, Frigyes Schőberl, Nick Shaw, & Dávid Turczi, Mindclash Games, 2018)Games Played Last Week:04:34 -Istanbul (Rudiger Dorn, Pegasus Spiele, 2014)06:06 -Blue Moon (Reiner Knizia, KOSMOS, 2004)09:23 -Saint Petersburg (Bernd Brunnhofer, Hans im Glück, 2004)12:08 -Spirit Island: Jagged Earth (R. Eric Reuss, Greater Than Games, 2020)16:52 -Undaunted: North Africa (Trevor Benjamin & David Thompson, Osprey Games, 2020)23:17 -The Crew: The Quest for Planet 9 (Thomas Sing, KOSMOS, 2019)25:10 -Rome & Roll (Nick Shaw & Dávid Turczi, PSC Games, 2020)News (and why it doesn't matter):34:30 Lookout for more Uwe Rosenberg: Hallertau35:15 More Stories for Orleans35:39 Multip

Old conflicts are put to bed, taxonomies are shelved, and instead we take refuge in sweeping declarations. Walker focuses on the ad hominem, trying to dissuade people from game design because they are insufficiently hardcore; Mark focuses on games, declaring that you can't base games on random spat out tiles. Nuance is for the weak, and qualifications are for those lacking character. Mostly.Games Played Last Week:02:04 -Too Many Bones: Dart (Adam Carlson & Josh J. Carlson, Chip Theory Games, 2020)06:28 -Tzolk'in: The Mayan Calendar (Simone Luciani & Daniele Tascini, CGE, 2012)09:19 -Russian Railroads (Helmut Ohley & Leanhard "Lonny" Orgler, Hans im Gluck, 2013)13:23 -Through the Desert (Reiner Knizia, KOSMOS, 1998)16:36 -The Fox in the Forest Duet (Foxtrot Games, Renegade Game Studios, 2020)18:13 -Shards of Infinity: Shadow of Salvation (Justin Gary & Ryan Sutherland, Stone Blade Entertainment, 2019)20:44 -Terraforming Mars (Jacob Fryxelius, Stronghold, 2016)21:37 -Cthulhu: Dea

We take a break from heady issues this week; so we instead touch on what constitutes a trick, what friends are good for, and colonialism. You know, light discussion. 02:35 AYURIS: Core Worlds (Andrew Parks, Stronghold, 2011)Games Played Last Week:04:09 -Fort (Grant Rodiek, Leder Games, 2020)09:15 -Ascension Tactics: Miniatures Deckbuilding Game (Justin Gary & Ryan Sutherland, Stone Blade Entertainment, 2021)12:09 -The Voyages of Marco Polo (Simone Luciani & Daniele Tascini, Hans im Gluck, 2015)13:16 -Endeavor: Age of Expansion (Jarratt Gray, Burnt Island Games, 2020)15:51 -Turn the Tide (Stefan Dorra, AMIGO, 1997)20:22 -6 nimmt! (Wolfgang Kramer, AMIGO, 1994)21:45 -Spirit Island (R. Eric Reuss, Greater Than Games, 2017)23:45 -Yokohama (Hisashi Hayashi, Tasty Minstrel Games, 2016)25:42 -Sonora (Rob Newton, Pandasaurus Games, 2020)28:36 -Eclipse: Second Dawn for the Galaxy (Touko Tahkokallio, Lautapelit.fi, 2020)News (and why it doesn't matter):29:12 Dune: Imperium30:24 "Everyone's waiting f