Nerd Poker

Hopefully playing in person means we can manage the xorns that sprouted up and are trying to rip our faces off. And hopefully we can do something about Twooden's rapier having just exploded in his face!  For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

As the crew enters the darkened cellar of the old gnome stoneworks building, their darkvision comes in handy. But can our lean, mean, thief detective team hold up against stone-hard monster wrecking crews, or will they get smashy smashied? For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Now that we've located the way down to the super evil vault, it's a matter of breaking inside and disposing of this little worm smiling at us like an absolute creep. Brought to you by AI ads! Just kidding. OR ARE WE?  For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Deep in the belly of the slime fountain, our heroes salvage loot! They are preparing for the big heist, one filled with, you guessed it, WORMS. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Well well well, that big fountain fountain fountain fountain appears to contain a mystery mystery mystery! Time to shake the crime stick!  For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

You know what you deserve, listener? Us blowing something up, setting it on fire nice and proper. The real question is, will we look at what's under the blanket beforehand? For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

It's time to interrogate the Mayor of Dellsmouth, a nervous gnome whose home might be haunted. He is begging us to leave, and there's a disturbing tableau before us- but hey, let's pull up some chairs and ask some casual questions about the gigantic frame with a blanket hastily draped over it! For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

The whole town of Dellsmouth is starting to feel abandoned, which makes petty crimes a lot less fun. So it's time to talk to the Mayor of Dellsmouth about the serial killer, a nervous gnome whose home might be haunted. Probably super chill, let's create a forced interrogation environment with him! For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

We've had a grand ol' time talking to a creepy fish man about the worms in his pocket, then let's-a-go paddle out to the terrifying fissure in the bay in a creaky ol' boat! Sure an otherworldly fog is tumbling out of it but this boat is probs super safe! For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Well, now that the little nightmare worm is in a jar, it's time we got some rest. The question is- since all beds thus far are either assassin traps or muddy spots on the ground- where? And the big question looms- do we kill the interplanar priestess, go for one last score, or risk both?  For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Finally our crew of sneaky thieves get to see what's behind the tinkerer's door, and wouldn't you know it, it's horrifying. Will we get to use the combat grid, or will we just feel attacked emotionally? For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

As the crew enters into the deceased gnome tinkerer's workshop, it appears ol' Nimblenubbin had some dark secrets to hide. Not the least of which- this looks like Brian's college apartment. Luckily Brian's player character has otherworldly sleight of hand bonuses!  For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Our crew is meeting up with Maude Nimblenubbin to try to make peace. Which will be difficult given that we killed her husband, or as one of us asks- "We didn't do anything to her husband, did we?" Perhaps this will also provide some kind of lead towards... "The Priestess." For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

The murderer! We may have just cornered Gnome Jack the Ripper, AND Dan is mutating Ken again. The kind of classic Nerd Poker shenanigans you know and love. But do we keep the murder harness? Or are those too hard to sell? For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Our heist crew has done it, and escaped the abandoned temple with major loot. Sure they're locked in a shack in Soggytown, which sounds like the world's creepiest country song, but they're on their way to sell their spoils to the Thieve's Guild as soon as they can get through the murder fog. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

It seems like a pretty standard treasure room with a gigantic heretic god's statue staring dead-eyed at everyone. So it's time to grab the super chill astral plane skeleton and book it out of here!  For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Of COURSE the treasure vault has three gelatinous detritus tubes full of toothed leviathan tongues. What podcast did you think this was, anyway? We now take you to a party of scrawny detectives trying to wade through walls of plasmatic murder. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

We delve into the ancient sahuagin where things start off very Giger-y and fillopian-y. There may be undead fish people, ancient mud leviathans, and other classic things that happen with failed saving throws. Can we get some sick loot without Dan turning one of us inside out?! For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.  

There's a bit of unpleasantness with this bounty hunter to deal with, hopefully everything is chill now that we spared his life. The whole ruining of his reputation is probably no big deal right? Then its off to investigate a way to our next vault heist, and to suffer a deeply unsettling, or depending on your feelings perhaps adorable, cascade of Kua-toa NPC voices. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Assassin our assin! The crew hunts down, corners, and puts the smack down on this drow bounty hunter, AKA Dan's bastard of a drow #632. Hopefully he'll explain himself and we can get to our next heist! For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.